Paisagem de inverno

Não era a neve nem o manto branco, era o sentimento de final de ano, projetos e projeções. Era a fome não saciada. Seus olhos como num sonho: vidrados, estáticos, num close up, retina, pupila dilatada. Na janela embassada do trem a pasaigem de inverno, o calor das luvas, gesto contido, lábios ressecados. A vida que passa nas outras estações, lençol frio cobrindo o horizonte. Para sede há outras fontes, para o amor outros abraços. Sorriso, alegria sem explicar. Um café, um chá  bem quente para espantar pensamentos congelados. O trem cortava o mapa, arrastava-se pelos trilhos como serpente. Na próxima parada a estação central abrindo sua bocarra, engolindo vagões e anunciando chegadas e partidas. Seus passos ligeiros alcançando o corrimão, a escala rolante, a saída, o sinal de trânsito, o bonde elétrico, o metrô, a rua, a porta e sua fechadura, o abrigo do lar num dia de vento gelando os ossos e as vontades.

Árvore de Natal, bolas, falso cristal, enfeites vários. Estrela, luzes, jantar esfriando no prato. O lar mudou de endereço, de continente, de país. De tudo o que ele mais quis pouco conquistou, mas ainda acredita e é isso que importa afinal, deixando a porta da esperança entreaberta e de mangas arregaçadas mais uma vez indo à luta.

É final de ano, novo ano, velhos anseios, sonhos que nunca morrem. É calor de lareira ou apenas o aquecedor. Tempo de desembrulhar as memórias e livrar-se de roupas velhas no armário, as que ficaram por mais de um ano sem serem usadas, seja por causa daqueles quilinhos a menos ou a mais ou pelas ditaduras da moda. Para quem acredita é tempo de enviar cartões de Natal, caligrafia esmerada em poucas palavras para expressar o tanto que se quer bem.

O personagem que se vê na janela seria você ou é mais um filme truncado numa reprise na tevê. Trocamos de canal sem achar o que buscamos. Ele apenas afunda na poltrona com um bom vinho do lado, uns bons tira-gostos e uma preguiça habitual. Velhos hálitos, outros hálitos, emanações da alma. É final de semana e mais uma rotina de trabalho que promete o que a outra não cumpriu. Pessoas, amigos, conhecidos, gente que ele viu, conviveu, conheceu e outros que já nem se lembra mais. É a vida que corre entre as dezenas de maratonas, suor, sede, sina, sinais do tempo. Esse cidadão planeja viagens, faz planos à curto prazo e prefere nem pensar no que deixou de realizar, mas no que ainda é possivel. Vida feita de prioridades, como quem escolhe as melhores ofertas num bazar oriental perdido num metrópole do ocidente. Dois mundos, uma mesma lua, duas vidas que nunca se cruzam.

Cai a neve, galhos petrificados, árvore e arbusto, grama ainda verde meio queimada pelo frio de ontem a noite. Seus passos lentos pela casa, na mão um livro, óculos de leitura arqueado sobre o nariz pequeno e afilado, barba por fazer, olhos vivos, repletos de curiosidade. Senta-se na  poltrona ou no sofá estrategicamente posicionado bem perto da janela, assim vez ou outra no intervalo da leitura dá uma olhadela no que passa lá fora: é trânsito, é gente, é buzina e sirene de ambulância. Para cada enfeite na árvore natalina, uma história para lembrar, uma champanhe aberta, fogos de artifícios, abraços de alguns vizinhos ou a falta de um ente querido que já não está mais entre nós no plano físico.

Sua paisagem de inverno faz querer-lhe o sol latino, o verão de cerveja estupidamente gelada na praia, noites na varanda da casa dos pais, café cheiroso recém preparado e aquela música meio bossa nova meio bolero. Paisagem de inverno para quem sonha com um outro cartão postal.

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76 Responses

  1. Sissym says:

    Eu aguardo ansiosa a epoca de fim de ano, de repente… ela se vai, então lembramos de tantos desafios pela frente.

    Aqui no Rio de Janeiro o ano não começou bem, por causa do desastre ocorrido nas cidades serranas. Triste, mas o povo é guerreiro e otimista, acredito que a fé erguerá a todos.

    Bjs

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